Unaware of Me
by playing-soldiers
Summary: After Prussia "misplaces" his prized journal, he recruits America to keep an eye out for it. After locating it, America comes to the rescue, but it falls into Canada's unknowing hands! Human names used.  PruCan. FrUk. JapAme. AusHun. GerIta. Spamano.
1. Going missing for a while

Gilbert Beilschmidt wasn't one to admit it, but, he kept a journal.

This journal, however, was _missing._

Inside Gilbert's journal was his darkest secrets and thoughts that he felt he couldn't keep in his head. Sometimes he wrote poetry, sometimes he even talked about things he liked.

_Like Matthew Williams._

The fear of someone finding it, especially if that someone was _Matthew_, made Gilbert feel something he didn't normally feel: _panic. _What if he found it and it scared him? Gilbert would never have a chance!

As the snowy haired Prussian destroyed his room down the hall, his younger brother sat at his desk, reading the "missing" journal, his face slowly becoming grimmer and grimmer from what was written inside of it.

Ludwig wasn't the type to snoop through his older brother's personal affairs...but something he saw the other day had, well, disturbed him, and Ludwig needed to confirm his suspicions.

Turning pages, Ludwig discovered that Gilbert was gay and he had a crush on a Freshman named Matthew Williams.

However, as he delved deeper into the book, he discovered how unhappy his older brother was.

Ludwig found his suspicions to be correct seventeen pages in.

His older brother, Gilbert Beilschmidt, a very angry, arrogant, athletic and talented teenager, mutilated his skin because he felt things he shouldn't: self-hate, jealousy towards his brother's achievements and intelligence, the constant nagging that life wasn't worth anything…

He hurt himself to make those feelings go away and he'd write about all the times it happened in his journal and why he did it at that time.

All the while, Ludwig read on, reading each reason and feeling the weight on his heart grow heavier with each letter, with each punctuation mark.

The most recent in his mutilation record was a few days ago, and his reason? _I can't control when I do it anymore. It's getting out of hand. Covering it all up is a new feat._

The next page had a poem. It was a stark contrast to the previous page.

The last couplet of the poem was: "_I notice, I notice... / You're unaware of me._"

Putting the journal down, Ludwig dialed his best friend Feliciano's number.


	2. Do you see what I see?

When Gilbert showed up to school, he was on edge.

Ludwig hadn't talked to him all morning and it made him uneasy. He tried rationalizing it to him being up all night studying for some honors trigonometry test, but he still couldn't help but think..._what if?_

Francis waved in Gilbert's direction, "Gilbert! Over here, _cher_! We must discuss some things!" Walking towards where his best friend stood with Antonio, his third musketeer, he felt relieved instantly. Talking about set lists for future gigs always cheered Gilbert up.

"Okay, so I was thinking we'd do some Metallica if you were up to it and…" He trailed off, noticing Francis shaking his head rapidly. "_Non! _This is not about our band! This is about _him!_" Francis' manicured finger pointed at a teenager with a guitar strapped to his back, green streaks in his mohawk styled hair, and huge eyebrows.

"Ooooh!" Gilbert said, smiling, "You want me to _welcome_ him!"

"_Non!_"

"Then what?" If Francis didn't want him to give him a swirly (cliché, but Gilbert, Francis, and Antonio found it very effective), then what did he want him to do?

"I want him to be mine and no one elses! He is beautiful!"

Antonio started cracking up, but stopped when Francis pinned a look on him, "Sorry" he whispered before going back to his cell phone.

"Francy Pants, I think you are absolutely blind. Do you _see _that kids eyebrows? They are like billboards advertising a new 'Even a Caveman Can Do It' commercial!"

Francis was very angry with Gilbert for that comment, but by first period, Gilbert had agreed to help in his quest to win the heart of Eyebrows Churchill.

xxx

Feliciano Vargas chattered happily to his twin brother about the tennis practice he missed and about how art club was going.

Lovino wasn't in the art club, and he only really asked his brother about tennis, but Feliciano always got distracted and moved onto other topics. One of his more annoying traits, in Lovino's opinion.

The short-tempered twin wound up having to endure a good twenty minutes of Feliciano blabbering about mixing paints and new canvases that were scheduled to come in while they changed for gym before Ludwig, that potato-bastard, came in and rescued him.

Walking over to the still talking Italian, Ludwig tapped on his shoulder, "Feliciano, a word?" Lovino, who had been waiting for a distraction ever since Feliciano uttered the word "art", was absolutely relieved.

"I'll leave you with my brother this once, potato-bastard, but if you touch him I will kill you!" Lovino promised before speed walking away from his shared locker.

The remaining Vargas twin turned to the tall, blonde brute and smiled, "Hello, Luddy~! Is this about what we talked about on the phone?" Ludwig nodded and Feliciano grabbed his hand, "Then sit! Tell me everything so I can help you!"

And so, Ludwig pulled out Gilbert's journal and told him everything. About seeing Gilbert's arms after bumping into him on the way out of the bathroom, his suspicion, sneaking into Gilbert's bag when he wasn't looking, discovering the mutilation record, the entries about resenting him, and then about the crush he had...

"On Mattie? I know Mattie~! He's in art club with me and he's so nice and he is a wonderful artist!" Feliciano decided to comment on in the end, smiling with his half lidded eyes before going to tie his shoes.

"Feliciano, that's not the point! My brother cuts himself because he hates how he lives and himself and all you can say is that the boy he likes is _nice_?" Ludwig ran a hand over his carefully gelled hair in irritation. How dense could Feliciano be?

"Gilbert has always been troubled. You know this, Luddy. I'm surprised you didn't see any signs earlier pointing to the obvious." Feliciano's sobered response made Ludwig turn to look at him fully.

Was Ludwig _that_ blind to his brothers problems? Had he been crying out and hoping for him to hear?

"You just need to wait for the right time to confront him about it. I'm sure he'll explain~ No one can handle all that pain by themselves. It's a heavy burden to bear alone~" With that statement, Feliciano leaned down and pecked Ludwig on both cheeks and skipped out the door into the gym.

Ludwig slid the journal beneath a pile of clothes in Feliciano's locker and locked it before following the little Italian, red faced but feeling a little better.

xxx

Alfred F. Jones watched Ludwig hide the journal, having arrived late to gym, and wondered why he would hide it in the Vargas' locker.


	3. So here's my number, so call me, maybe?

Matthew Williams walked into the lunchroom, hoping to finish up some homework he had forgotten to do.

He soon noticed that that would be impossible, for the Bad Touch Trio was sitting at his usually empty table, harassing the new boy from England.

Matthew crossed over to the table quietly and sat down, knowing that he wouldn't be noticed by any of them. They always seemed to ignore him, even his cousin Francis. Matthew was used to not being recognized. It was rare when he was, and even then, people thought he was his twin brother.

Xxx

_Shit shit shit shit SHIT…_Gilbert thought as Matthew…_MATTHEW_…sat down at the table Francis, Antonio, Arthur, and himself were occupying. How could Gilbert forget that Matthew sat there? He always looked at Matthew, diligently starting ahead on his homework and reading more into the next lessons the teacher had planned, no doubt.

Francis didn't seem at all phased that his baby cousin had sat down and could hear him flirt shamelessly with Eyebrows Churchill.

"_Mon dieu_, Arthur, you're so gorgeous! How are you not being flocked by all the men and women in this room?"

"Maybe because you're scaring all of them away, frog," Arthur replied smoothly, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked very closed off.

Francis placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder, a bad move, because Arthur turned his head so fast to look at Francis, he could've snapped it.

"I'm. Not. _Interested. _Understand, plonker? I am trying to get through my first day in an American school and you three are making it steadily harder. It's bad enough that I have to deal with all these American idiots, but I have _you_ badgering me and trying to slip into my knickers!" The Briton stood up quickly and crossed the table to where a quiet Matthew Williams sat, observing the scene.

"Hello chap, my name is Arthur." A hand was extended to the blond and Matthew shook it hesitantly. The teenager wore black nail polish and a spiked bracelet, intriguing Matthew.

"Hi…I'm Matthew," the Canadian greeted quietly, looking down at his lap. He was effectively shocked by the Britons recognition of him!

"Tell me, are those blokes across from us _always_ infuriating?" Matthew nodded slowly and Arthur sighed, "Well, lovely. It seems I have attracted the attention of the Three Stooges."

Francis squeaked and Antonio said something close to "Hey! I had no part in this!" before Matthew decided to defend his cousin, "They aren't that bad…once you get to know them, they're alright.."

But Arthur had resorted to texting.

Matthew sighed heavily and opened his text book, about to delve into the inner workings of trigonometry.

Out of the corner of the cannucks eye, he could see a small red cell phone sliding towards him, "Enter your number, please. I'd much rather prefer your company," he gazed at the Bad Touch Trio, "over _them _any day of the year."

And it was then that Matthew found himself a friend who didn't ask him who he was every two seconds, and it was then that Francis found his outlet to Arthur Kirkland: _Matthieu. _


	4. Tell me a lie

Gilbert really hated having Home Economics last period.

Especially when he was stuck with his ex-girlfriend, Elizaveta Hedervary, as his partner.

It was suffice to say that since they broke up, their friendship had been on the rocks. It only increased when she started dating Gilbert's cousin, Roderich.

Today, she seemed to be in good spirits. Maybe it was because it was the Friday night of the big homecoming game, or maybe it was because it was her and Roderich's 6 month anniversary, but whatever it was, she was humming and mixing pancake batter.

Their assignment was to make breakfast food (why? Gilbert didn't know. They should have been making lunch stuff because it was almost 1:30, but whatever). Elizaveta ordered Gilbert to peel and slice potatoes to make home fries and he did.

But then Gilbert started to get frustrated.

There was still no sign of his journal, it was at risk of being found and plastered all over the school, and he was the quarterback of the football team and had to worry about winning tonight. Obviously, Gil had a lot to worry about already, so why should he be sitting there in Home Ec, slicing potatoes like a little house wife?

He shouldn't. However, in order to participate in the game tonight, it required him to have passing grades, and skipping class was a whole different matter.

Elizaveta asked Gilbert to pass the potatoes, so he stood up, giving her the bowl of sliced potato wedges…all over her head.

Gilbert's temper was well known, especially when he was stressed out. He did disruptive things, like flipping desks over or punching lockers.

Today, however, he decided to piss off the wrong cheerleader.

Potato slices spilled down onto the floor and down into the inside of Elizaveta's uniform. She stood as still as a stone statue, inhaling deeply several times before screaming as loudly as she could and grabbing the closest kitchen utensil to hit Gilbert with.

Unfortunately for Gil, it was a frying pan.

Even more unfortunately for Gil, she broke his nose.

Elizaveta got a full pardon and Gilbert got suspended from playing the game that night and a slip to visit the nurses office.

xxx

Matthew made his way down to the nurses office, walking in the middle of the deserted halls. These halls made Matthew feel like he was the only one that existed, rather than feeling like he was invisible to all. Sometimes Matthew loved heading down to the nurses office to take his medication because of the empty hallways that presented him this such feeling.

Most times, though, he hated walking into her office and having her watch as he swallowed down pills that tried to generate false happiness.

As he walked into the nurses office, he noticed a snowy haired Junior sitting at her desk, talking on the phone. He held a soaked wad of tissues up to his nose. The sight of the sticky crimson covering Gilbert Beilschmidt's face Matthew woozy and nostalgic.

He hadn't seen that much blood in a long time.

The nurse, a rather plump woman, popped out of the back room with the small X-Ray machine, "Gilbert, I'm afraid it's broken. You shouldn't have expected otherwise, really. After all, you got hit in the face with a frying pan. Wielded by an angry cheerleader. That you poured a bowl of potatoes on."

"I get it already!" Gilbert snapped, his voice nasally from the blood and tissue clogging it.

xxx

Gilbert had been on the phone with his Großvater, explaining what had happened.

He was grounded for a month. The Hedervary's were good friends with the Beilschmidt's and his Großvater was extremely disappointed in Gilbert for letting the stress get to him. He was also grounded for being suspended from the big game.

Gilbert was ashamed that he disappointed his Großvater. He hated disappointing him. He was like a father to him.

He was around more than his dad, anyway.

The nurse walked in, delivering the news of his broken nose. Of course, Gilbert _shouldn't _have expected an answer opposite to the one he received, but he had hoped. Now he was going to look like a bruised mess in front of Matthew, and that was completely embarrassing, especially with Gilbert's reputation of taking shit from anyone, especially ex-girlfriends named Elizaveta.

Francis promised Gilbert that if he helped woo Arthur, he could finally have a chance to talk to Matthew. Now, Gilbert may have blown it, making him seem like a weakling in front of the only guy Gilbert has ever truly _wanted_.

The nurse turned from Gilbert and gave a surprised jolt, "Matthew, when did you get here?"

Gil's heart skipped a beat and clenched at the same time, making him look up and into Matthew's lilac eyes. Two amethysts looked down hastily after making eye contact with Gilbert's rubies.

"A few minutes ago…" he replied quietly, shuffling his feet a little.

"I'll go get your medicine, just pop a squat on that bench, okay sweetie?" Matthew nodded and sat down.

_Medicine?_

"So, what is your affliction? Chronic migraines, acid reflex, allergies, anemia?" The casual tone in Gil's voice sounded more invasive than he would have liked it to sound, but Matthew answered all the same, "Oh..uh, it's just a vitamin." _A lie, _Gilbert suspected.

"Ew, only sissies take vitamins, dude," Gilbert replied. He knew he sounded as arrogant as he normally did and was glad, he had his guard back up at attention.

xxx

Matthew didn't think his lie about the vitamin was believable, but Gilbert had commented on it, saying they were for sissies. The Canadian huffed up indignantly, "I'll have you know that everyone on the hockey team takes them and we're state champions."

With Matthew's soft voice, he did not sound at all angry, but he was. He hated it when people assumed that just because he was kind of small, he took vitamins and did other girly things like go get manicures and talk about the latest boy bands, like One Direction.

No, Matthew Williams was on the hockey team and he was their best player. He needed to keep up his strength, and if vitamins helped that, then he'd take as much as he needed. That is, if he did take actual vitamins.

He always used the vitamins as an excuse. Ever since the 8th grade after the big incident. He was bullied constantly for the vitamin excuse, which increased his little problem.

Sighing heavily, knowing he didn't sound at all manly, he looked at Gilbert, "I am the teams best player. I need to keep up my strength. If vitamins will do that for me, so be it."

Gilbert grinned at Matthew, and Matthew felt his pulse start racing, "It seems I underestimated you, Williams. An athlete. I would have never thought that about you, maybe because you're an underclassmen, but still."

The nurse brought Matthew his pills and he swallowed them down, all the while, Gilbert watched. After a few moments, he stood, waving goodbye to the nurse and winking at Matthew, "See you around, Williams."

From the moment Gilbert blinked, Matthew was already trying to calm his beating chest.

Only once before had Matthew seen a guy in the lighting he was seeing Gilbert in now, and it had not ended well…


End file.
